Allow Yourself To Heal Before Jumping Into A New Relationship


We’ve all heard the saying, “Time HEALS all wounds”.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but… sometimes time really doesn’t heal all wounds. Mainly because everyone has their own unique way of healing.

Dealing with a break up is NEVER easy and I get it. You want to fight your emotions and do everything you possibly can to diminish the pain.

You wish it was just a B-A-D||ĐŘĖÅM from which you could wake up, hoping it disappears. And for some of us, our first thoughts become a pool of questions on what we can do to hold on to this certain individual.

We come up with WAYS to make this individual jealous AND BASICALLY show them what they are out right missing!


BUT..this only leads us to these jump ship tactics AKA (dysfunctional learned behaviors).

SO.. don’t be the person that jumps from relationship to relationship.

Instead, Focus in on your relationships to SEE what areas in YOU need WORK AND..


When you decide to face those DEEP wounds and blocked emotions, YOU begin to SHED LIGHT on them and heal them. SO, I guess the saying should BE: “LIGHT heals ALL WOUNDS.”

THESE relationships that you keep jumping in are nothing other than your mirror. And what does a mirror DO? Well, it helps you SEE yourself more clearly..

Now once you look in the mirror, make sure you are ready to accept what you SEE, because this is where your WORK will begin.

You have to SUCK it up and GROW through what you’re going through.

Now, here is a recap of my PAST.

I went through a relationship that left me confused and devastated. And hunny, it was A BIG MESS!

At the time, I thought that the relationship was built with love and commitment, and man was I wrong!

I realized eventually that I was basically settling with someone who was only tolerating me, not realizing there was really NEVER a solid foundation that had been established.

There’s NOTHING worse than being with someone who JUST tolerates YOU.

When he left, I cried and moped for days. This emotional mess lasted for weeks! And as silly as this may sound, I prayed for him every day, HOPING that he would come back.

Then, I returned to the dating scene. A little too soon to be exact, hoping that a new guy would erase all the memories I had with my ex. BUT I had no idea that this would PROLONG my healing process.

I mean.. I was eager to do whatever I had to do to remove myself from this dreadful situation. But nothing seemed to work until I realized my delay. The ONLY way to heal was to surrender to the feelings and emotions I was experiencing AND ACCEPT them.

Taking this period to PROCESS my emotion without distractions REALLY helped my SELF-ESTEEM become healthier and my mind became clearer, as the pain started to ease.

Slowly, I found myself getting back into the swing of things. I DEVOTED a lot of time to my relationship with God, working out, and writing. I even discovered new interests and hobbies.

Finally, I accepted that the break up wasn’t meant to harm me, but it was for MY GOOD. It had propelled me into a new level of thinking so that I could EMBRACE MY NEW REALITY.

I say all this to tell you, STOP LOOKING for other people to FILL your voids and clean up your mess that only God can do. Take the TIME to heal and LEARN MORE about you before jumping into a new relationship. Because one day you’ll look back and be glad you did.

“Walking in My Purpose on Purpose

-Yolanda J🧡

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